June 21, 2011 at 11:36pm
Norita Williams
I wanted to share a little bit of my story. I don't share this for any to have pitty on me but maybe it will open eyes to what others are facing. I was with a guy who was good as gold in the beginning and he played all his cards right it seemed. Life was good and things just couldnt seem to be any better. Once we had gotten married things began to change. I had never changed anything I was doing but he started to change. I remember times when I would be getting ready for work and he would make comments about me getting all "dressed" up. I would reassure him that I had never changed what i was doing and was just getting ready for work. It snow balled from there. It got to the point of me having to quit my job and spenind "all" my time with him. I was pregnant at the time as well. By the time I had left this sitution it was headed downward FAST!!! I was getting yelled at. called stupid, could not go see my family, could not leave without permission then he would keep a check on how long I was gone and then I would get yelled at if I was a minute late. There was everything from Verbal to Psychological to sexual to finanaical abuse. It would have gotten Physcial if I had stayed. It was headed that way!!! I found out after I left ALOT about this person. None of it was good.
There is nothing to be embarresed about, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!! NO ONE!!!!
I remember the first night I was at a safe place I cried. I held my 2 month old in my arms and cried. For the first time in awhile I was safe and I was protected. I didn't know what to do but cry. I laid my little one down and prayed. I remember looking back that was the first night of peace I have had since being in the relationship.
I know the hardest thing for me was to forgive him. I thought I had within the first year, found out different. It took me 2 and half years for forgive him. But I did.
This past April I celebrated lol..It was 3 years since I left him and it felt great!!! I have moved on and each day putting pieces back together like a puzzle. Learning more and more and just enjoying time in general. I didnt have that before but now I do.
In life we go though things that we are not proud of. When we weave our webs and get stuck in them we think how in the world do I get myself out?
So many times we find ourselves in abusive relationships and don’t understand how we got in them.Sometimes we find ourselves "living with the enemy". I can't tell you why you are in the situation, however, I can advise you on how to get out of the situation. The crazy thing about love is, it's blind, it sees no wrong, sometimes when we are " in love" we can’t see signs of an an abusive person. Sometimes we over look the signs and once " the love is gone" then we see the light. Even stranger is the fact that everyone else can see the trouble ahead in your relationship, except you. I am not just speaking of signs of physical abuse, but emotional and mental abuse as well. Abuse is commonly defined as misuse and mistreatment.
I hope reading this has touched lives..That is my prayer..If you would like prayer or talk just inbox me..God bless you all !!!
Domestic Violence--This has to STOP!!!
This Was Not Love!!!
Going through abuse is something that is world wrecking. There are all forms of abuse
and in these blogs I would like to share what I had went through to help others.
Like in the blog before I mentioned I was in an abusive marriage and had went
through different types of abuse and it was leading to physcial as well. The one
that started if all off was emotional abuse. I would like to write some examples
of what had happened to me and then you can look at your own relationship and
see if any of this sounds familiar to you?
The first time I remember being told anything and when this person's colors began to show was around the first month of the marriage. It did not take this person long to start showing their colors. I remember getting ready for work and was in the bathroom with the
door open. I was putting on my make up like I always did. Nothing ever changed
of what I would always do. He came to the door and had said "Why are you putting
make up on?" I told him I was getting ready for work. He said I don't understand
it. From that time on it just snow balled. It was going from my make up to what
I was wearing, Where I was going, how long I would be gone to actually timing me
from point one to point two. It seemed harmless at first and I didn't think much
of it but then other things began to play factor to this. He would make
comments to me like "You don't need to wear that it shows your figure to you
need to be wearing my clothes". Mind you this he was quote unqote "6"3" or so
and I am just 5"2. So you could imagine what that would have looked like. I
would wear clothes I had always wore, which was a regular shirt and blue jeans,
or something to that effect.
He was so jealous and controlling of everything. It had got to the point where he was calling me stupid and I didn't know what I was doing to I have ruined his life. Belitting me behind closed doors and keeping a tight squeeze on me when we went out somewhere including around his family. This is just the tip of the iceburg on what happened. There
is still ALOT to tell!!! It was bad!!! It had even gotten to the point where
when I would talk to someone that I saw out and he was with me he would put his
hand behind my neck and make me look down and dared me to talk to them. It was
even bad watching TV, the smallest things would tick him off and it was the rest
of the night arguing. He would yell and cuss and he would just go on and on and
on.
Have any of you been through this? If so are you still with this
person? Do you think this is love? After leaving I realized this was NOT love
and far from it. This person has issues and needs help-professionally. It is
nothing I did or didn't do it was the person. I didn't deserve what I went
through and neither do you!!!
This was not love at all!!! This was a person who was manipulative, controlling and just needed a bag to push around.
If I hadn't been pregnant I would had left before it got worse. I was afraid he
would have hit me in the stomach and hurt my little one, I think that was one of
the reasons I had stayed as long as I did. We all have reasons for staying in
these types of relationships and yes there were more reasons why I stayed and as
I write these blogs I will tell and get the word out.
LOVE is none of what I just described above. Love is being compassionate, understanding, wanting to help your mate, wanting to love them with more than just words, wanting to be with them and enjoy being with them. Love means no name calling, no yelling, nocussing, no hurtful saying, no telling you that your not worth it. Love goes the
distance and beyond!!! Yes there is this type of love everyewhere just not in
the relationships we are in or put ourselves through. You are worth A LOT more
than what is described in the beginning of this blog!! You are worth it and YOU
do deserve ALOT better and You do deserve LOVE!!!!!!
There is nothing to be embarresed about, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED!!! NO ONE!!!!
I remember the first night I was at a safe place I cried. I held my 2 month old in my arms and cried. For the first time in awhile I was safe and I was protected. I didn't know what to do but cry. I laid my little one down and prayed. I remember looking back that was the first night of peace I have had since being in the relationship.
I know the hardest thing for me was to forgive him. I thought I had within the first year, found out different. It took me 2 and half years for forgive him. But I did.
This past April I celebrated lol..It was 3 years since I left him and it felt great!!! I have moved on and each day putting pieces back together like a puzzle. Learning more and more and just enjoying time in general. I didnt have that before but now I do.
In life we go though things that we are not proud of. When we weave our webs and get stuck in them we think how in the world do I get myself out?
So many times we find ourselves in abusive relationships and don’t understand how we got in them.Sometimes we find ourselves "living with the enemy". I can't tell you why you are in the situation, however, I can advise you on how to get out of the situation. The crazy thing about love is, it's blind, it sees no wrong, sometimes when we are " in love" we can’t see signs of an an abusive person. Sometimes we over look the signs and once " the love is gone" then we see the light. Even stranger is the fact that everyone else can see the trouble ahead in your relationship, except you. I am not just speaking of signs of physical abuse, but emotional and mental abuse as well. Abuse is commonly defined as misuse and mistreatment.
I hope reading this has touched lives..That is my prayer..If you would like prayer or talk just inbox me..God bless you all !!!
Domestic Violence--This has to STOP!!!
This Was Not Love!!!
Going through abuse is something that is world wrecking. There are all forms of abuse
and in these blogs I would like to share what I had went through to help others.
Like in the blog before I mentioned I was in an abusive marriage and had went
through different types of abuse and it was leading to physcial as well. The one
that started if all off was emotional abuse. I would like to write some examples
of what had happened to me and then you can look at your own relationship and
see if any of this sounds familiar to you?
The first time I remember being told anything and when this person's colors began to show was around the first month of the marriage. It did not take this person long to start showing their colors. I remember getting ready for work and was in the bathroom with the
door open. I was putting on my make up like I always did. Nothing ever changed
of what I would always do. He came to the door and had said "Why are you putting
make up on?" I told him I was getting ready for work. He said I don't understand
it. From that time on it just snow balled. It was going from my make up to what
I was wearing, Where I was going, how long I would be gone to actually timing me
from point one to point two. It seemed harmless at first and I didn't think much
of it but then other things began to play factor to this. He would make
comments to me like "You don't need to wear that it shows your figure to you
need to be wearing my clothes". Mind you this he was quote unqote "6"3" or so
and I am just 5"2. So you could imagine what that would have looked like. I
would wear clothes I had always wore, which was a regular shirt and blue jeans,
or something to that effect.
He was so jealous and controlling of everything. It had got to the point where he was calling me stupid and I didn't know what I was doing to I have ruined his life. Belitting me behind closed doors and keeping a tight squeeze on me when we went out somewhere including around his family. This is just the tip of the iceburg on what happened. There
is still ALOT to tell!!! It was bad!!! It had even gotten to the point where
when I would talk to someone that I saw out and he was with me he would put his
hand behind my neck and make me look down and dared me to talk to them. It was
even bad watching TV, the smallest things would tick him off and it was the rest
of the night arguing. He would yell and cuss and he would just go on and on and
on.
Have any of you been through this? If so are you still with this
person? Do you think this is love? After leaving I realized this was NOT love
and far from it. This person has issues and needs help-professionally. It is
nothing I did or didn't do it was the person. I didn't deserve what I went
through and neither do you!!!
This was not love at all!!! This was a person who was manipulative, controlling and just needed a bag to push around.
If I hadn't been pregnant I would had left before it got worse. I was afraid he
would have hit me in the stomach and hurt my little one, I think that was one of
the reasons I had stayed as long as I did. We all have reasons for staying in
these types of relationships and yes there were more reasons why I stayed and as
I write these blogs I will tell and get the word out.
LOVE is none of what I just described above. Love is being compassionate, understanding, wanting to help your mate, wanting to love them with more than just words, wanting to be with them and enjoy being with them. Love means no name calling, no yelling, nocussing, no hurtful saying, no telling you that your not worth it. Love goes the
distance and beyond!!! Yes there is this type of love everyewhere just not in
the relationships we are in or put ourselves through. You are worth A LOT more
than what is described in the beginning of this blog!! You are worth it and YOU
do deserve ALOT better and You do deserve LOVE!!!!!!
